|—||Lady Gaga (via realizes)|
People always ask me why I never look forward to things that are exciting. At first, I don’t understand why they even would have to ask. When you lift something up, gravity will always bring it down. When you expect something to be amazing, exciting, or fun you build it up in your head. And then the moment it doesn’t happen the way you hoped and dreamed it comes crashing down and turns into a pile of disappointment. Why look forward to things when nothing can live up to your expectations? Why do that to yourself?
What’s really sad is the fact that I think like this and yet, I still get disappointed just like everyone else. Anything that I ever look forward to crumbles right in front of my eyes and there is never anything I can do to change it. There are few things in this world that I look forward to, and whenever I let myself feel excited about some event, it never turns out the way I would have hoped. And I don’t mean that it doesn’t go the way I wanted; I mean it goes a completely different direction that turns into disaster. Like my 8th birthday party that was supposed to be my very first slumber party ever, but all of my guests expect one ended up going home in the middle of the night. Like my first big crush that ended up dating one of my best friends. Like how the Christmas Party I was going to have with my high school friends turned out to be a disaster.
I wish good things never ended. I wish the people I loved, loved each other just as much as I love them. I wish people that I loved, loved me as much as I loved them.
You want know what is really the strangest thing about me? My two biggest fears in life don’t make sense together. The first fear is being alone forever. I’m afraid that nobody will love me. I’m afraid that I’ll never get the chance to know what love is like. Or rather, I’ll never know what it’s like to have someone love me back. I’m afraid that I will live a life loving people more than they will ever love me. And I guess that’s where my other fear comes from. I’m afraid of falling in love. I’m afraid of depending on someone else so much that they have the power to break my heart. I’m afraid of giving someone else enough power to make me happy or sad. I’m terrified of loving someone, and knowing what it’s like to have someone like you back…and then having it all torn away from you. I’m afraid of love because I fear that once I start to love someone, it won’t die. And what if they don’t love me the same? What if all of a sudden, they change their mind? I don’t want to know what that’s like. I’ve felt like the second best for far too long…the last thing I want is finally feel like first and then have the rug swept out from underneath me. So I’ll do whatever it takes not to let that happen…but at the same time…I don’t want to be alone.
I just wish that there really was such a thing as a soul mate. I geek out about fairy tales and random couples on TV shows because I wish they were possible. I wish it were possible for two people to love each other till the end of time. I wish there were such a thing as happily ever after. But, sadly, real life doesn’t work like that.
do you ever feel like you’re just sort of
like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that like them back and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care if it was gone
like you just sort of exist but you don’t really mean anything
The fact that this is a part of Cory’s last ever scene of dialogue on Glee will never not get me:
I don’t even watch glee, and this hurts.
if people need to be “oppressed” for you to not treat them like shit then you really don’t care about people at all and are just a pile of garbage
Everyone should start doing this
Reblog for good grades
Worth a shot.
My professor actually recommended this!